27 Nov 2013

I am the one


This Facebook post had us really laughing last night as we could identify with most of them already, 'even' after only 6 months! Yes, I am the one.

AN EXPATRIATE OR A FOREIGNER KNOWS HE'S BEEN IN UGANDA FOR TOO LONG WHEN:

…seeing someone speeding towards you in the wrong lane seems completely normal …You find yourself pointing with your lips and saying "yes" by raising both eyebrows. …You can masterfully employ a variety of "Eh!" and "Eh eh!" noises to convey a range of meanings …You know "Come back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m." means whatever you're trying to get done is NEVER going to happen …You start using the words "even" and "ever" in places you never would have ("Even me, I'm feeling hungry," or "I have ever done that") …You start referring to people as "this one" or "that one" …You willingly drive into oncoming traffic just to avoid the potholes …you can speak Uganglish so well that - you talk with a Ugandan accent; use words like 'shocked,' 'fearing,' 'extend,' 'balance,' ''somehow,' 'even me,' and 'can you imagine' and 'are you sure?' far too often... …you know the load shedding schedule by heart …When you come back from being out of the country and conversations go as: Them: "you have been lost!!" and your response: "I have been found!" Them: "how is there?" and you: "there is fine!" Them: "you have gone fat!!!" and you are lost for words because you have forgotten how frank Ugandans are …You emphasize how you like something and they say: "Are you sure?" …someone calls out your name and your reply is: "I am the one!" …you end the conversation with "ok please" …You ask for someone, and you know the answer "He's within" means everything from "He's within the building" to "He's within the city" or even "He's within the country". …you start sentences with 'As for me, I ….' …you get 'Am Fine' as a reply to your 'hi'. …Clothes becomes a two-syllable word. Clo - thes. …You know the man asking for Lose actually refers to Rose. …your handshakes last an entire conversation …your home does not have an address …people walk into your house and you say "You are all most welcome!" …you think "eh" in a high pitch tone is the correct way to respond when a boda drivers price suggestion is too high.


We are now local already folks somehow, yes, you are shocked? Eh! Even me, I am a local! 

Extend your eyes this way and enjoy the pictures - can you imagine? You are all most welcome. 

Ok, please.




I feel like I fit in much more and just disappear into the background when I dress like this. Healthy tan, eh?



Jam anyone?



I'm never letting Sue drive a lorry ever again.



Now it all suddenly makes so much more sense!


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